And here we are, four months later, never really communicating, moved on in new relationships, and I truly wish you nothing but the best. Because you did care, you do care, and it’s so hard to see sometimes, and even though I am so, incredibly, undeniably happy, it felt so good to know that you were, in fact, still thinking about me.īecause love for someone doesn’t just go away. I know you are, because just four days ago you texted me for the first time in four months with a, “I know we ended things kinda poorly but I hope you’re doing better than you were.” And I was driving back from a concert and I had to stop on the side of the highway and take it in. There are days I think you still are, and I’m sure you are. That’s not to say you never were in my corner. I know you have to work through it at your pace. He said, “You know, you don’t have to unpack this, but I’m glad you are, and I am here if you need me and here if you don’t. And I had unpacked some of that trauma that I tried so hard to work through with you from past relationships that I never was able to get over, and he said something that made me realize that yes, this is moving on, this is finding the great in someone. Remember those? Weird to think about them with someone else, I know. And I didn’t realize I had moved on until our second date together. There’s no pressure, no drama, it feels easy. I met someone, who, for the first time since the first person I fell in love with, makes me feel like that first love. I think I finally moved on from you about a month ago. Through every argument, every toxic trait we both perceived in each other, everything, we deserve to be loved for what we are, and I hope you found that. Because I think everyone deserves to be happy, deserves to feel what it’s like to be loved.
It’s been about four months, and I’m sure you’re happy. I didn’t speak to you then, and we still haven’t spoken. Because, for me, ending our relationship meant focusing on myself, and for you, it meant jumping into the next relationship. But you made eye contact with me every time she leaned in for a kiss. I knew that you tended to jump around in relationships, and for a long time I had hoped that it would have been different with me, that we would have lasted, but we didn’t, so I wasn’t surprised. I didn’t know it right away, but waking up and getting in my car to leave, I knew that it would be it.Ī month later we were at the same party, and you were there with your new girlfriend. I remember you asking me to come over after we broke up because you were drunk and didn’t want to be alone, and I showed up, and we slept in the same bed, not touching, not doing anything, just existing in the same space, which, I think I realized in that moment, would be the last time. And here we were, arguing for the final time, over the phone. A little bit, like we were hiding from our true emotions. I always thought that ending a relationship not in person was a little bit shallow.
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